Your Illicit Kiss

testin

Yay. Nice moment:

Johnny Cash's cover of Hurt was number one on top ten covers.





Yea,

Stolen from </b></a></b></a></b></div></b></intheshadows 1 question. 1 chance. 1 answer. 100% honest. That's all you get. You get to ask me 1 question. ANY 1 question Conditions: I won't tell ANYONE what you asked me and I'll answer it honestly. The catch is, you have to repost this and see what people ask you. comments are screened.

Its all flowing, filling fasting
and Im not quite sure where to stand,
the sand is slipping silently.

your quiet on the horizon,
your waiting for something,
your me or broken highways.

its creeping round my ankles,
and im telling you to say,
what your thinking feeling.

splendid! alert and an,
almost awkard atrusion.

its very clever boy,
this web were weaving whether,
or not we get there, will

be up to you

im struggling and im not sure, and its just the way things are.

stability, or a dream of something else?
or will there always be a dream of something else?

i want to get drunk with west and debate the universe and ponder on all the things that plague my thoughts.

work is great, and surprising.

and all that coulve been...

There is a line that monotously plays though my head,


I try to save myself but myself keeps slipping away.

Scary dream...but does it reflect on me, or those who were in it?

Scared.Concerned.


You were an acquired taste,
and oh, how I acquired you.
to dream you loose,
you break and stumble
and i am not there,
to catch you as you fall.
what a fall it was!
but do you even want me
still, to break your collapse
or simply to scrape you back together'
i assure you,
i never stopped,
i ran, again, just like before
will this love,
be the one that spirals
find me.

My journal is the coolest journal ever. look at Trent.

Lisa just reminded me how much food we were given at christmas. I still hold guilt about, perhaps, not seeming as grateful as I feel necessary and was.
Thankyou to all. The saying Give a man a fish, feed him for a day, etc is true. I can now feed myself, and two others. I think I may do some donating, as was done for me.
I took so much, and found it amusing that other people supported me. Fucking stoner.

Received into ownership Smells like children and Portrait today! Incredible excitement. My "to be worshipped" pile, removed from the main collection, is growing. Both groups are, its lovely. Might pop onto trade me in a minute for a wee look see.

Im trying to update more, eventually Ill change my journal. I told myself I wasnt going to do it until I felt it really was a total new beginnings, and there are a few more bridges to repair yet. I'll get there.

The power points in the kitchen have gone out. Gayballs, electriccian here tomorrow hopefully. Considering the kitchen runs several appliances, its annoying.

Haven't been sleeping all that well lately, makes work a little hard. Incredibly so, in all honesty when trying to keep up with a 14 year old autistic boy. He does not stop moving. Ever. After jumping on a trampoline for an hour I was a little fucked, but it was fun. Jess just makes me laugh, all the time. Its a big difference from Brittany, with whom I'm doing highly academic stuff with, and communication is a lot different. Jess talks, britty doesnt, so consistently employing low tech/high tech communication systems is rather draining. But I love Britt so much It doesnt really matter.

Ive realised this is the first winter, in god knows how many, Im actually warm all the time. My house is always toasty and cosy, work is a bloody sauna, and the in between times i take the time to put jackets and gloves and scarves etc. Of course chilly, but for 2 mins i can handle. I would gladly give a year of partying just for the comfort of being warm. And have cheese. all the time. I like cheese.Lili does too.

Lisa rentals will be back soon. I didnt expect to miss them, but I do. Theyre awesome.

Teehee, Lisa just had me explain the history of LJ. I'd like to think i was quite inspiring on the LJ front.

As you can tell, my life is exciting. And I like it that way. Thinking about uni more and more, but conflicted on what to do. Ive got pressure from all sorts of directions to go different ways, and I just cant figure out what I want. Talking to the mainstreamers at school, makes me think about when I was that age. Before I started...well whatever you'd call it. I think delusion is the way to go. I was deluded beyond belief. thye more time i spend sober, the more things I used to remember saying. what a load of bollacks. what a selfish, cruel, inconsiderate load of bollacks. Even worse, people thought things i said were funny. And noone ever stood up to me and said I disagree. The state of this nation is disgusting.

I saw a picture of West from his non stoner days. He looked so different, and different he was. I miss him sometimes, and its hard. I miss a lot of people. I kinda think my poor decisions are being paid for with that pain i wake up with most nights, the pain of missing so many people. I wonder about a lot of things, but in my sobriety, the truth Ive come to realise, makes me sad.

Im going to go shopping for a halter neck shirt this week. Its very exciting. Im shrinking, or perhaps melting would be a more appropriate term. All these things I always wanted so much, and never thought were true, or would happen, and now i know someof things i wanted most were true all along. its funny. so many signs, and so little insight.
I cant believe im so small. I cant believe I can admit that.

Im going to go, and keep wishing for snow. Snow=no school. Snowball fights with Britt, lazy day in bed, and snuggles. "smiles".

I love my baby.